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| (Feedback; online source, forbes) |
When I think about the topic of feedback (both giving and recieving it), there are some things that immediately come to mind. For example, I feel that feedback should include thought provoking advice, rather than destructive criticism. I despise the term constructive criticism because I have never believed that such a thing exists. For me, once a bit of advise has become "constructive", it's no longer criticism. I do understand what the phrase means. I just think criticism is a "dirty" word and I tend to avoid it all together. I associate it with superiority, negativity, and judgement and I find that we can give feedback about something that is slightly negative without it coming across as actual criticism. I like the idea of a positivity "sandwich", where you give something positive, then something that could use some work, then something else positive. So, something less positive sandwiched between two completely positive things. I've found that this works very well.
There are some things I never actively thought about before reading articles in preparation for this post that make a lot of sense to me now that I consider them. I found as I read different information that most aspects of giving and receiving feedback can be reversed and applied on the other side of things, so I'm going to point those arguments out here.
First of all, I like the idea that having room for growth is indicative that we haven't reached our full potential. If we have room for improvement, it means that we are still growing and we can still be better! If our skills are perfected already, then we're maxed out. We can never improve. So, when someone hands you some advise for something they think you can improve, appreciate that. Take that as a sign that you're not "washed up"! Take that as a complement and realize that they're seeing potential when they look at you and / or your work. This can work in the opposite direction too. When we are giving feedback, we should attempt to show confidence in the person's ability to grow and reach higher.
The 2nd article I read (Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head) surprised me a little. Self confidence and being overly critical of myself is something that I've always struggled with. I often feel like I'm alone in this but this article hit several aspects of this problem and it makes me believe that I'm not so alone after all. After all, if this weren't a somewhat common issue, there wouldn't be need to write about how to deal with it, right? The biggest take home message for me is to be confident in my own abilities and accept positive feedback as truth, rather than condescending dialogue.
I also really like the idea of "feedforward". This is a concept that entails giving feedback that looks to the future, rather than taking a retrospective approach. So instead of saying "you didn't do this well", we can say "maybe in the future you could...". It gives us a way to point out things that may need some work without directly pointing out negative actions. I do however think that both ways are important for improvement. We have to be able to look at our past actions critically and accept the faults in them in order to actively make changes towards improvement now or in the future.
I think the overall message in all of this is that we have to be critical of ourselves and others in a way that emanates positivity and self confidence in whomever is under the metaphorical microscope. We should be careful to point out the good, along with any bad when we're asked to give someone feedback. Then, on the other side of it, we should be careful to seek out the positive message intended with any negative reaction we receive. We also need to be self critical in a way that allows us to grow from our mistakes while maintaining our own confidence. It's all just a balancing act, in my opinion, between negative feedback, positive reinforcement, and overall self-confidence. When we receive advise, we have to remember that it's most often intended to be helpful, not hurtful. The negativity we take from feedback often begins within us, with our own negative thoughts. Work hard to take the negative voice in your head and drown those thoughts out with positive ones.
Resources
5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like a Champ
Silence the Critical Voices in Your Head
Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback
7 Key Characteristics Of Better Learning Feedback
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