Week 10 Story: A Forbidden Love

(Young lovers; internet source, www.rudinahp.wordpress.com)

Whether they personally knew him or not, everyone in his small town knew the name Gael Ryder. It was often carried across town on the hushed whispers of the townspeople.

“I ran into Gael at the market yesterday. I wish he’d just leave this town behind and take his memory with him.”

“I reckon he walks around here just to get a rise from us.”

“A fine job he does of it too.”

Most everyone in town spread the rumors about Gael as if they were facts. Even years after the incident, the townspeople remembered what he’d done. Gael had a mental condition, known as bipolar disorder. To over simplify things, he experienced a roller coaster of emotions, often going from elation to severe depression in a moment’s time. Sometimes, out of nowhere, depression wrapped its cold grip around him for no reason at all. Other times, Gael would find humor in horrid situations and he couldn’t help himself. That time in middle school when Susana Wintles was crying in the cafeteria because her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, for instance. Gael understood the significance of the situation. However, a stray bit of hair sticking up from another girl’s ponytail threw him into a fit of laughter. Empathy, in that moment, was lost to him.

Gael had a tendency to make enemies because of his “unusual” personality. He bottled everything up for years, wondering what was wrong with him and never speaking of it. Left undiagnosed, the illness left him mentally exhausted. One day, left alone with his thoughts and feeling broken beyond repair, he decided the world would be better off without his presence. His mother, and only living relative, was out to work that day. He sat on the sofa looking at the lighter in his hand for a time. On – off – on – off... He flicked it over and over. On – off – on… “Everyone will be better off when I’m gone.” Off – on – off… “I can’t screw anything up if I’m not here anymore.” On – off… He wasn’t happy or sad or angry. He was just there. On…

He sat on the couch and watched as the flames overtook the house. When the firemen arrived, his consciousness had faded. Barely breathing, Gael opened his eyes just enough to see the face of a man making the ultimate sacrifice. He felt the respirator slide over his face as his world went black. The fire fighter never made it home that day, but thanks to his bravery, Gael did.

Melony was the only one in town that didn’t blame Gael for the fire fighter’s death. Her mother begged her to stay away from him. Her father forbade it. She didn’t listen to either of them, of course. She saw something in Gael that no one else did. She didn’t see the damaged, screw up that everyone else did. She saw a man who knew the smallest things about her without asking, a man whose touch lifted the weight right off her shoulders on a difficult day. She saw a man who, among so much more, had the kindest, most misunderstood heart she had ever seen. She saw a man who struggled to show affection but loved deeper than anyone else she knew. She alone saw the selflessness in the actions he took in his darkest hour. She understood that he wasn’t trying to numb his own pain or take the easy way out like so many others had said. She saw that he believed he was a burden to the world and he didn’t want to be.

Gael pleaded with her to keep their relationship a secret so the town didn’t turn against her too. For a long time, she did but one day she grew tired of hiding the happiest part of her life. She wanted a husband and children, maybe even grandchildren someday. She wanted all those things with Gael and that wasn’t going to happen if their relationship remained in the dark. She confessed her love for Gael to her parents, then her best friend. Before long the entire town knew she was in love with Gael. Nobody supported her at first. Some were even convinced that Gael had somehow tricked her into it. Eventually though, she was able to convince a fair majority that Gael deserved a second chance. The day they married, most of the town showed up, many of whom didn’t truly understand Gael until that day.

The pastor said, “We will now allow the bride and groom to exchange their vows. Gael, you’re up first.” Gael stared around the small church, before he began.
“Melony, I want you to know that you saved me. You lifted me up when others tore me down. When there were dozens of reasons to hate me, you found the smallest reasons to love me. You, Melony. The reason I’m here today is because of you. You gave me the second chance I never deserved but wouldn’t trade for world. I promise to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be for you, because you deserve that and more.” The pastor nodded slightly towards Melony. Melony smiled at Gael softly.
“Gael, I promise to love you for the rest of my days. I promise to stand by your side when you need me and to step away when you don’t. I promise that I will understand when depression pulls you in and I’ll be there to help you when you’re ready to fight. I promise to remember how much you love me in those moments when you think you don’t. I promise that no matter how much I want to fix everything for you, I’ll remember that I can’t. I will love you even when you can’t love yourself. Most importantly, in the brief moments when you’re in the dark, I’ll be your light, because every other moment you are mine.”

“Gael, you man now kiss your bride!”


Author’s note
I really hope this story wasn’t too confusing but I really wanted to write about something important with this one. There is such a stigma surrounding mental illness and I’m always looking for ways to bring light to this very serious issue. I based my story on “The Bear-Woman” because I really loved the story. The woman in the original is in love with a bear and wants to marry him. When her family finds out, they kill the bear. Then she ends up turning into a bear and killing several people in her village. I wanted to change the ending and make it more about hope and opportunity for change. I wanted to write the love interest to be someone with some sort of ailment that would make him undesirable, yet that one special person would still want him. Mental illness, bipolar disorder specifically, is something very personal to me. Someone very close to me has been diagnosed as bipolar with schizophrenic tendencies, along with having some other health problems. Most people don’t understand the severity of this disease (or any mental disorder really) unless they have personal experience with it. So, I wanted to shine a little light on how things can be for someone with this disorder and the ones they love. Then I wanted to show that having bipolar doesn’t make you a bad person or an unlovable person. It just means that sometimes love has to be shown in a different way when someone with a mental ailment is involved. The most important piece of this story for me was the wedding vows, specifically Melony’s. Go back and read them again… Through this character I hope to tell just a small portion of what a spouse or loved one must learn in order to help someone with bipolar or another mental disorder.
PS
I'm sick and really not very clear headed right now... So I hope this one isn't too terrible to read. I want to come back to it later this week and revise it but for now... I wanted to get the assignment submitted on time. ;)

Source

"Native American Marriage Tales", by Stith Thompson, online source

Reading Notes: Tejas Legends, Part B

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I found a lot in this set of stories that I really enjoyed reading. First, in "Why Hummingbirds Drink Only Dew" I like the sense of loyalty given to the birds. The hummingbird made a bet with the heron and lost the bet. It didn't really have to keep its word but according to this story, it kept its word forever.

I'm really big on symbolism and I really think "The Maiden Who Loved a Star" did a great job of showing blind love in a very symbolic way. I think this would be a good story to just re-tell, without making too many changes to it.

I thought "Old Quanah's Gift" was an incredibly moving story, I thought. The old man spent most of his life making this incredibly beautiful and meaningful blanket. Then when he dies, he leaves it to whomever deserves it the most, which happens to be himself. In the end, seeing worth in another brought beauty for all of the tribe. Again I think this is a really fun symbolic story. I'd love to try my hand at writing with symbolism more.

I feel like this set of stories theorizes answers to a lot of big picture questions. For example, where did illness first start? I think there is a lot of potential for writing inspiration in this set of stories.

Source
"Tejas Legends: When the Storm God Rides", retold by Florence Stratton, online source

Reading Notes: Tejas Legends, Part A

(The North Wind's Hair (Spanish moss); online source, www.commons.wikimedia.org)

     I actually chose this section of reading as a way to try and challenge myself further. I really like to push my own limits and I felt like this set might help me to do that. I would like to write a children's story at some point and I personally find that much harder to do than writing stories for an adult audience. I chose this particular section also because of the use of human-like character descriptions to depict inanimate objects, such as storms, rivers, etc. I won't be using these tactics this week, because I've already got something in mind, but I'll come back to these notes at a later date when I'm ready to try my hand at a children's story.

     Most of these stories drew my attention for the same reason. I'd really like to try and write something where the characters are people representing an object or an idea, because I'm really not good at that kind of symbolism and I'd like to expand my writing skills. "How the North Wind Lost His Hair", "The Plant That Grows in Trees", and "Grandmother River's Trick" are good examples of what I'm talking about, along with some others. The north wind is displayed as a person that fights the south wind, mistletoe is portrayed as something having thoughts and feelings, and a river is said to be the grandmother of the little fish that live within her.

Source
"Tejas Legends: When the Storm God Rides", retold by Florence Stratton, online source

Famous Last Words: Getting sick and falling behind - Week 9

     This hasn’t been a good week for me. Actually, it would seem that none of the last few weeks have been good for me. Lol.

     My reading for Mythology and Folklore didn’t go too good this week. I only got half of the reading done, which put me 4 points being where I wanted to be. I had hoped to get an “extra reading” extra credit done by the end of the week but I wasn’t able to because of work, house guests, and getting sick again. There is nothing of note to add as far as school goes. This semester is going pretty well actually. I’ve kept up and stayed ahead in my classes until Spring break. Then this week, the week after Spring break, I’ve struggled and got behind my “ahead” schedule again and just barely got my assignments done on time. I’m not too worried about it though. I’ll get back ahead this week!

(Family; online source, www.mlrtahoe.com)

     Outside of school, things aren’t too bad. Work has been busy this week, as usual and most of my days have been pretty hectic. Our plumbing issues appear to finally be fixed, so that’s a positive thing. I said before that I was sick again but I really think it’s just allergies messing with me. I haven’t 100% convinced myself of that though. I’ve felt pretty horrible for most of the week. Just overnight I all of a sudden had a sore throat and super stuffy head and my whole body hurt. I’m not a fan of feeling that way… NOT at all! Also, the house guests I mentioned before? I should have noted that they were my brother in law (husband’s biological brother), his wife, and their 3 children. My husband and his siblings were adopted at a very young age, so this was actually the first time he has physically met his brother and the first time my step son (my husband’s son) has met his cousins on that side of his family. It was pretty incredible witnessing that moment, honestly!! 

Week 9 Story Planning: A Forbidden Love

(Young lovers; internet source, www.rudinahp.wordpress.com)

     Next week, I’d like to write a story about a forbidden, unsupported, or unlikely love. I read the Native American Marriage Tales unit this week. “The Bear-Woman” jumped out at me when I read it and I thought it would be fun to write something along the same storyline. In the original story, a woman falls in love with a bear and keeps the relationship a secret to her family while continually insisting that she doesn’t want to marry. Eventually her family finds out about the affair and gathers all the villagers to kill the girl’s lover. I didn’t like that the story ended with both the girl and her lover being killed, so I’d like to make a different ending for my story. I also just watched beauty and the beast, which I think may be adding to my desire to write this story. Since I’m still not certain of where this story will head, I’m doing a planning post this week and hopefully will write this story out next week!

Characters

• A young girl in love, whom nobody takes seriously, except her love interest. 
• The girl’s love interest… I’m not sure yet what this character will be like just yet but they will have some sort of displeasing characteristic that makes the girl’s family and friends plead with her to stay away.
• The girl’s parents. Both will care for their daughter and have her best interest at heart. However, they won’t realize that they’re doing more harm than good by trying to protect their daughter from a nonexistent evil. 
• The girl's skeptical (but supportive)best friend.

Plot
     A young woman will fall in love with an unlikely suitor and her relationship will not be accepted by her peers, and most importantly by her parents. Eventually, the girl will tire of hiding her relationship from everyone and come forth with the truth. In the end, her family will either learn to accept her lover or will lose her forever. The actual story will reveal which way things go.

Setting
     I’m not clear on this yet either (hence the reason I’m doing a planning post, when I traditionally prefer to write right off the bat.) but I think it will be set in a small town where basically everybody knows everybody and everyone is interested in the outcome of the girl’s love life.

     I’m hoping to use this story to convey the idea of acceptance and to show that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

Source

"Native American Marriage Tales", by Stith Thompson, online source

Reading Notes: Native American Marriage Tales, Part A

(Red Fox; Internet source, www.welcomewildlife.com)

  I enjoyed this section because of the simple language used for the stories but I find several of them really confusing. I guess that could be a good thing though, because I could use that as inspiration to learn more about Native American culture. Most of them are written with a very simple writing style and in a pretty straight forward manner so that it's easy to understand the direction of the stories. 

     Unfortunately, I didn't feel extremely inspired to write from this set of stories. I did find a few things I think I can use though. "Bear-Woman and Deer-Woman", for example, I think I could write some sort of backstory for this. I found myself wondering as I read this story how a deer and a bear came to be sister wives to a chicken-hawk. So, maybe I can answer that question for other readers in a story of my own. I also really didn't like how this story ended, with one wife killing the other and if I use this story as inspiration for my own, I could recreate this ending to be something I like better. 

     I really loved "The Fox-Woman" too, although I'm really not sure what I would want to write with this. I think the idea of a mystery helper is a fun idea but I'd like to change the plot, because I don't feel that I could re-write this one well without taking too much of the original story into my own. 

     I feel like "The Rolling Head" is a little bit "too much" for me. I think it's a clever story but it really creeped me out that the father fed his wife to their children. Maybe I could use this to write something similar with a little less of a demonic twist. For example, the man kills his wife and lies to his children about it (but doesn't feed her to them... ewww.) and in the end, the children's mother comes to the children spiritually to tell them what really happened. 

Finally, I rather enjoyed "The Bear-Woman". I'm 99% sure I've read this story before in another set of reading and I almost wrote a story based on it then. So maybe this time I will write something, using this one as my inspiration. I like the forbidden love idea and think I could write maybe a fun romantic tragedy based on this, although a lot of my stories have turned out to be tragic... That was never really my intention but that's just how things keep coming together.

Source
"Native American Marriage Tales", by Stith Thompson, online source

Wikipedia Trail: Otolaryngology to Squalene

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    I chose to look up otolaryngology. I’m taking fourth semester Spanish and one of our assignments is to speak with someone from another country for thirty minutes on video chat, four times throughout the semester. Well, today, I asked my conversation partner to tell me a new word that he thought I was unlikely to know, and I wasn’t disappointed. He taught me the word “Otorrinolaringología”, which means otolaryngology. He explained what it was during our conversation but since I’m very interested in the medical field and I thought it was such a fun word, I wanted to include it in a Wikipedia trails post!

     I then jumped over to the Wiki page for otitis externa, which is apparently an ear infection known more commonly as “swimmer’s ear”. I’ve heard of this before but I never knew the technical word for it, so that was kind of neat. Also, there is a pretty gross picture on this Wiki page. You’ve been warned!! Lol.

     Then I noticed another word I didn’t recognized and jumped over to the Wiki page for “cerumen”, which is apparently the fancy medical term for earwax! What I did not know is that one of the major elements that makes up ear wax is fatty acid. There is a picture of a huge chunk of earwax on this page, so not as gross as the infected ear but still not really something you really look forward to seeing. Haha.

     I also didn’t know that squalene was part of what makes up ear wax and I didn’t even know what squalene was, so I figured that would be the perfect place to end my Wikipedia trails post, so I jumped over to the Wiki page for that. Squalene is a natural 30 carbon organic compound. Although it is found in many places, the primary source is shark liver oil. We have a compound in our ear that is also very prominently found in shark liver oil. So there, now that’s something you know…

(Squalene; online source, www.compmed.com)

Famous Last Words: Mental Burnout - Week 8

(Mental Burnout; online source, wwwbebrainfit.com)

     This week hasn't been very productive as far as well, anything goes, really.

     

     This is technically Spring break, so there isn’t much to report as far as school goes. Basically, I’ve fallen behind my “ahead of the official schedule” schedule again, because I honestly had no desire to work on anything school related or anything I “needed” to do this week. I planned to work on homework as if I wasn’t on break because last week was supposed to technically be my break from schoolwork because I was a full week ahead but I think I was to the point of burn out, so I needed a short break. I’m feeling better now and I’ll get back on it and be ahead again within the week though!!

     I haven't felt motivated to do much outside of school either. We moved into our new house on March 1^st and we’ve still unpacked very little. Granted, we did have to put in an inground electric fence, as well as fix a huge chunk of actual fence so that our dogs wouldn’t get out. We also have done quite a bit of running from place to place, trying to get everything set up in our new house. There are so many little things that you don’t even consider needing until you buy your own house. A rake, for example. Plus, we needed a lawn mower, a ladder, a water hose… Well, you get the picture. Lol. We have also been having plumbing issues already (not exactly what one hopes for during the first week of living in a new home but such is life, really.) Even with all of that, I still really thought we would have things a little more “put together” by this point than we do but it just feels like the last 2 weeks have been rather unproductive. I was hoping to be mostly unpacked and set up by now but we don’t even have one full room set up, just bits and pieces of each room and empty boxes and trash all over the place. Lol.

     Well, hopefully next week will be a better week all around! 

Famous Last Words: What a Week! - Week 7

(Moving day!!; personal photo, taken by me)

We moved this week. I was a little frustrated, because I had to miss class Wednesday and I really hate to miss class. I didn't really have a choice though, because my boss would not let me off of work for Tuesday, the day we closed on the house. So, we had to wait until Wednesday. It has been a really weird and hectic week. First of all, I'm about 13 miles further from OU now but I now live 15 miles closer to school and about 15 miles closer to my minor step son now. You have to take the good and bad together, I suppose. Being further from school isn't very fun, because I have to get up earlier and I also now have to take one of the busiest city highways to get to school. Whereas before, I was able to take mostly back roads and I didn't have to deal with traffic too much. However, both being closer to my step son and being closer to work are major bonuses in my book, because I will use less gas to go to work, I can leave a little bit later and will be home a little earlier at night, and it won't take as long or use as much gas to pick up my step son and also, I'll get to see him a lot more now that we're closer so it will be much easier to spend time with him. I haven't lived in the city for about 12 or 13 years and it is definitely an adjustment for me. Nothing bad, so far: just "different". We live right by the highway now(like literally, there is a brick barrier that sits just behind our back yard and if it weren't there I would be able to walk out my back gate and straight up onto the highway!) but the city sounds, such as traffic, are actually calming to me. I guess that's because I grew up in the city, so the country sounds have freaked me out on many occasions over the last 12 or 13 years. You would think I would have adjusted by now but I haven't apparently. Lol. It is also incredible that there are so many stores REALLY close to my house now. I have a grocery store within walking distance, although I would more than likely never walk up there (but you never know). There are all kinds of fast food places and different merchandise stores. I absolutely love it. I really did not realize how much I missed the city until the last few days, being back in the city.

Since I'm ahead in Myth and Folklore, I didn't have any reading to do for this week. Instead, I did some reflection assignments, in preparation for Spring Break. So there isn't too much to report on that front. In my Spanish class, however, I think I've maybe finally made a really big stride this week. In the class I'm currently in, I have to make 4 phone calls to someone in another country throughout the semester. It's on a system called "TalkAbroad" and you have to pay for these conversations. It's set up similar to skype, where you can video chat with your "conversation partner". The first one was absolutely horrible for me. I felt like an idiot and I'm pretty sure my conversation partner hated "talking" to me. It was just not a good experience. This week, I had to make phone call number two and I'm really happy with how it went. I actually didn't even realize that my 30 minute conversation was coming to a close until the man I was talking to thanked me for talking to him and started to say goodbye! I was extremely proud of myself and how smoothly that conversation went, because I've really struggled in that area. So, for me, being able to carry on a 30 minute conversation was a big stride! I was also able to keep up with my "ahead of the class" schedule this week, in spite of moving 20 miles away and trying to get everything set up, so I'm pretty proud of that as well!

I think that's about all for this week. Check back for more adventures with my new home next week around this time!!

Week 8 Growth Mindset

(Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset; online source, www.edventures.com)

    As with anybody, there are some things I'm better at than others. Some, I'm good at but I have to really challenge myself, others come naturally, and still others I'm not sure I'll ever be good at. I do try, however, to challenge myself to improve in every aspect of life (not just academics) where I have room for improvement, which is what's most important about growth mindset in my opinion. So, I'll just highlight a few things to expand on this.

     Some things that definitely come naturally to me are as follows. I'm always ready to meet minimum requirements, as well as going beyond the minimum. I really don't find myself looking for praise from others, as I'm satisfied with critiquing myself and improving based upon my own judgement. I often tend to look into the future and see long term potential in situations more easily than most people do. I love the way this class is designed for that reason: it allows me to really challenge myself beyond what I might have previously thought capable. For example, I've always loved fictional stories, especially mythical ones (such as Harry Potter, Divergent, etc.) but I've never believed myself capable of writing anything of that nature. With this class, I've been able to choose my own path throughout the semester and that has allowed me to expand my writing creativity. Since assignments are pretty self paced and also are based on completion, rather than quality per se, I've been able to work on projects of this nature and found that it's actually something I feel I can do well.

     Of course, there are also things that I struggle with on a regular basis. I don't like pushing myself out of my comfort zone, for instance. I've never been comfortable in social settings, however I try to push myself to overcome that on a regular basis. My desire to learn Spanish has been hindered by my social anxiety but I've been working hard to overcome that struggle. I recently acquired a pin pal of sorts, whom I text occasionally to give myself practice in the language. I'm hoping that in time this will help me ease my way into more face to face conversations with less stress. Another thing I struggle with is my own self doubt. I'm very self critical and I tend to shut down my own efforts without even giving myself the chance to succeed. My Spanish language skills also exemplify this, although I pushed through it and overcame that obstacle. When I first decided to learn Spanish, I was very inspired but I very quickly convinced myself that I couldn't learn Spanish. Then, I decided not to pursue my language minor as initially intended. Thankfully, I had a teacher that really encouraged me for my last required semester of Spanish for my major and he convinced me that I could complete my minor. I'm now much more confident in my Spanish skills and although I struggle regularly with social anxiety, I'm now certain that I will eventually be fluent in Spanish. 

Overall, I think it's just a good rule of thumb to push ourselves and others to be the best that we can be. If we can do that, life will be pretty great.

Week 8 Reflections: Looking Back and Looking Forward

(To Write or Not to Write; online source, www.linettebullock.com)

     I can't believe we're already halfway done (well, I am at least, because I'm working ahead. lol.) As I look back at my reading choices, I really think I've done a pretty good job of picking stories that inspire me to write. There have been a couple of weeks where I just really didn't feel inspired by any of the reading materials but I took creative liberty in those situations and came up with something more loosely based on that weeks reading, so it worked out in the end.

     Looking back on my writing, I'm really proud of what I've done this semester. I've always really loved to write but I'm way too self critical and end up scrapping anything I begin because I think to myself that nobody is going to read whatever it may be I'm trying to write. This class has pushed me to overcome that challenge and I've grown to really believe in my own writing. I'm creating a storybook, for example, and I think that is something I never would have dreamed I would do and feel proud of. Yet, here I am, working on creating this storybook and actually believing that I can write something of value, that someone may actually want to read. I have a clear idea of how I'm going to write it and how it will end and I'm feeling very confident in the project. I can't wait to finish it all and have my whole storybook posted!

     Looking at writings from other students, I think the biggest thing I notice is other people's ability to write descriptively. I can often see something vividly in my head but it doesn't translate to paper like I'd like it to. So, I'm envious of others that can do it and I always aspire to improve that area of my writing. I really think the biggest thing I see in other's writing that I hope to avoid is the use of incorrect grammar and spelling.